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Home » WOW

23 Reasons Why You Should Never Own Schnauzers

Published: Feb 20, 2019 · Modified: Mar 23, 2021 by Mary Clark · This post may contain affiliate links

If you are planning to adopt a puppy, get any breed EXCEPT Schnauzers.

Don't let these charming bearded creatures fool you. They are terrifying, and we want to save you from making a horrific mistake.

Here are 23 reasons why you should never adopt such creatures.

#1 Firstly, Schnauzers are pretty much the criminal ringleaders of the dog world.

Schnauzers dog guilty after destroying the pillow into pieces
It just like that.. exploded or something...

#2 Schnauzers can often be spotted in scary gangs…

pack of Schnauzers

#3 That’s when Schnauzers are not at the playground, hogging the swings from children.

Schnauzer dog happy in swing
Push, please!

#4 Because, clearly, children and Schnauzers don’t mix.

Schnauzer dog and kid
When you grow up, you can reach the handle, and we can both go out and play

#5 Wait, did we mention how completely not cute the puppies are?

Schnauzer puppy in lap

#6 They’re just horrible, right?

two Schnauzer faces in the couch while staring

#7 Also Schnauzers are messy. Really messy.

white Schnauzer with dirt on its mouth

#8 Not to mention awful at helping out with chores…

Schnauzer puppy inside the washing machine
You said take a bath.

#9 Licking the dishes doesn’t count!

three white Schnauzer licking the plates in the dishwasher
An energy-efficient new feature of a dishwasher!

#10 Did I mention that they’re practically narcoleptic?

black Schnauzer puppy sleeping on the couch in weird position

#11 Not only will Schnauzers fail to protect you, they’ll also actively steal your food!

Schnauzer dog licking an icecream
Soo refreshing!

#12 And Schnauzers can’t even dance well.

Schnauzer dog and puppy dancing in the garden

#13 Schnauzers are a huge problem because they steal everything: your socks, your whole heart, etc.

Schnauzer puppy with tissue paper on its mouth

#14 Schnauzers are always sticking out their tongues, especially when they’re out in public.

Schnauzer dog's face with its tongue sticking out

#15 And Schnauzers are CREEPS! They’re always spying on people and finding secret little places to observe what’s going on.

black Schnauzer dog peeking from upstairs

#16 Schnauzers NEVER leave you alone! What’s worse, if Schnauzers see that you’re sad and want to be left alone, they’ll go out of their way to give you love and companionship.

cute Schnauzer begging for food under the table

#17 Although sometimes Schnauzers are so independent it’s scary.

close up photo of Schnauzer puppy with adorable eyes

#18 And just look how menacing they are when they’re sleeping.

adorable dog sleeping beside its owner

#19 And they know what look to give you when they want something from you.

two Schnauzer with suspicious look while sitting on the floor

#20 Schnauzers are bed hogs.

cute Schnauzer puppy sitting on the bed while wrapped in white blanket
Wooof I'm a scary ghost.

#21 Schnauzers are really needy. You can’t go anywhere without them.

two Schnauzer dogs standing inside a push cart at the grocery store
Now, where's the Dog Treats Isle?

#22 And if you ever scratch them on the belly? There goes the rest of your day.

Schnauzer puppy lying on its back in the green grass
Ready for belly rubs!

#23 We warn you once again: You should NOT get a Schnauzer.

Schnauzer puppy sitting on a couch

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