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Home » Animals

20 Reasons Why You Should Never Own Dachshunds

Published: Nov 27, 2018 · Modified: Mar 19, 2021 by Karen Flores · This post may contain affiliate links

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Seriously, why is everyone so obsessed with these creatures? We think Dachshunds are atrocious animals.

We have decided to forward proofs to support this argument and deter you from making your life a living hell. Here are 14 reasons why you should never adopt such monsters.

Table of Contents

  • #1 And just look how menacing they are when they’re sleeping.
  • #2 And they’re CREEPS! They’re always spying on people and finding secret little places to observe what’s going on.
  • #3 They NEVER leave you alone! What’s worse, if they see that you’re sad and want to be left alone, they’ll go out of their way to give you love and companionship.
  • #4 Although sometimes they’re so independent it’s scary.
  • #5 Because, clearly, children and Dachshunds don’t mix.
  • #6 They’re just horrible, right?
  • #7 That’s when they’re not at the playground, hogging the swings from children.
  • #8 Wait, did we mention how completely not cute the puppies are?
  • #9 Also they’re messy. Really messy.
  • #10 We warn you once again: You should NOT get a Dachshund.
  • #11 Don’t get a Dachshund if you want a faithful friend, who will be by your side when you’re sad, and that will make you happy every day of your life.
  • #12 They’re a huge problem because they steal everything: your socks, your whole heart, etc.
  • #13 They’re always sticking out their tongues, especially when they’re out in public.
  • #14 And they know what look to give you when they want something from you.
  • #15 They’re bed hogs.
  • #16 They can often be spotted in scary gangs…
  • #17 And they can’t even dance well.
  • #18 And they don’t understand anything.
  • #19 They’re really needy. You can’t go anywhere without them.
  • #20 And if you ever scratch them on the belly? There goes the rest of your day.

#1 And just look how menacing they are when they’re sleeping.

dachshunds mother and puppy sleeping on the floor
Dreaming of treats

#2 And they’re CREEPS! They’re always spying on people and finding secret little places to observe what’s going on.

dachshunds walking in the garden
Don't underestimate my cute feet!

#3 They NEVER leave you alone! What’s worse, if they see that you’re sad and want to be left alone, they’ll go out of their way to give you love and companionship.

girl hugging dachhund
Always here for you

#4 Although sometimes they’re so independent it’s scary.

dachhund driving
I have no idea what I'm doing

#5 Because, clearly, children and Dachshunds don’t mix.

dachshund and a kid playing
So what are we cooking?

#6 They’re just horrible, right?

dachshund staring
Are you going to eat that?

#7 That’s when they’re not at the playground, hogging the swings from children.

dachshund in swing
Uhm excuse me, a little push, please?

#8 Wait, did we mention how completely not cute the puppies are?

holding dachshund cute face in snow
I changed my mind, I'm going to pee inside the house

#9 Also they’re messy. Really messy.

dachshund in mud
"Go outside and play"

#10 We warn you once again: You should NOT get a Dachshund.

dachshund wearing a colorful scarf
Can we go outside now?

#11 Don’t get a Dachshund if you want a faithful friend, who will be by your side when you’re sad, and that will make you happy every day of your life.

dachshund puppy looking at his owner
Guess who peed on the couch...

#12 They’re a huge problem because they steal everything: your socks, your whole heart, etc.

dachshund standing on a sofa with socks
This makes a good chew toy

#13 They’re always sticking out their tongues, especially when they’re out in public.

dachshund sticking out its tongue
Waiting for heavens to send treats like...

#14 And they know what look to give you when they want something from you.

dachshund begging
Are you sure about that?

#15 They’re bed hogs.

dachshund sleeping soundly in bed
This bed is taken..

#16 They can often be spotted in scary gangs…

group of dachshunds staring
Look! He just took a bite!

#17 And they can’t even dance well.

dachshund dancing on the beach
Anyone can dance!

#18 And they don’t understand anything.

dachshunds tilting its head
What do you mean "NO"

#19 They’re really needy. You can’t go anywhere without them.

dachshund sitting in the bathroom floor in between the owners shorts in his feet
I strongly believe that we live in a world with no judgment...

#20 And if you ever scratch them on the belly? There goes the rest of your day.

dachshund lying on its back showing its belly
Belly rub, maybe?
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